This past week a random memory came to mind.
I’m not sure how old I was. Maybe grade 2 or 3. I think I thought myself quite artistic at the time so I painted several pictures: tulips on grass with a sun in the corner and the like. I was pretty impressed with my work and thought it would be good enough to sell. So I got an egg carton where I would keep the money I made and called a friend to see if she would be willing to be my first customer.
A short time later I left her house 20 cents richer and confident that my career was off to a good start.
What is surprising about this memory is that my pupose was not to get rich but rather to make money to give to those who were less fortunate, namely my cousin who was living with us who had incured a sizeable debt in illegal activity but was on the road to reform and my sister who was working and saving for Bible school. So, when I got home I wrote a note to my cousin, took half the profit (10 cents) and placed note and dime on a table in his room. I don’t remember if I made it that far with my sister.
But I do remember what happened next. My mom came home. As soon as she came inside it became clear that my sister had been listening in when I had called my friend because she told my mom what I had done. Neither were impressed and told me that I had to return the 20 cents to my friend. I did so and never again tried to pursue a career in art.
As I was thinking about this memory I was trying to figure out how I felt about it. I don’t remember how I felt as a child, although I do remember looking back on it at some point and being embarrassed that I had thought that a dime would be useful to anyone. But I suppose the closest emotion I could attach to my reaction now was confusion. Why did my sister think it was a bad thing that I had done? Why did my mom tell me to return the money? If I sift through my memories this is one of few, if not the only, memory I have of doing something selfless and compassionate. And yet, rather than being encouraged I was stopped.
I want to remember this memory. I want to remember this memory so that when my kids pull some stunt like this I can encourage what’s good about it. Maybe give them some direction but encourage the heart behind it. Compassion is so far from human nature that it needs all the encouragement it can get.
the.happenings 