Alas and Did My Savior Bleed

Following is a song I’ll be singing this Friday for our Good Friday service.  Amazing that this is true!

Alas, and did my Savior bleed and did my Sovereign die?
Would He devote that sacred head for such a worm as I?
Was it for sins that I had done He groaned upon the tree?
Amazing pity, grace unknown and love beyond degree

My God, why would You shed Your blood so pure and undefiled
To make a sinful one like me Your chosen precious child?

Well might the sun in darkness hide and shut His glories in
When Christ, the mighty Maker, died for man, the creature’s, sin
Thus might I hide my blushing face while His dear cross appears
Dissolve my heart in thankfulness and melt my eyes to tears

– Isaac Watts

Resignation

This previous Sunday I announced my resignation as leader of the Emo Youth Group.  Here is what I said:

Emo Youth is a ministry of CBC.   It’s a group of anywhere from 10 to 25 teens
that meets each Thursday for two hours to build relationships and grow
spiritually.  On the 1^st, 3^rd
and (if there is one) 5^th Thursdays of the month we have a study of
some kind.  This fall we went through the
‘Quest’ video series put out by YWAM Vancouver. 
Right now we’re wrapping up the Passion video series by Louis
Giglio.  To finish off the year we’ll be
doing a study in Judges.  On the 2^nd
and 4^th Thursdays of the month we have an activity night: games at
the church, sleigh ride, guy/girls nights… 
On those evenings we aim to have a short God-talk.  And of course we include food!  On occasion we do special events such as a
Just Because We Can! Party, camping in the summer and we’re hoping to do a
weekend mission trip to Thunder Bay this spring. 

The inception of Emo Youth dates back to the winter of
1997-98.  It was spear headed by Ben
Rempel and Norma Sullivan in connection with the Evangelical Fellowship Church
in Fort Frances.  The very first one
there were 6 of us teens with the two leaders watching a Mark Lowry comedy
video in the basement of the EFC.  Over
time the group grew, we moved out of the church and started meeting in homes,
Norma left and in the winter of 2003-04 when Ben moved away Clemens Lehmann
started leading the group. 

It was the fall of 2004 that I started on as assistant
leader beginning my almost 6 years leading Emo Youth.  The first and third year I was assistant to
Clem.  The second year I lead with Kathryn
Goodman as my assistant and my fourth year I lead alone. 

By this point the group was almost exclusively from Emo with
no teens from Fort Frances.  I had almost
no accountability about how I was leading or what I was teaching.  The only church we had ties to was the EFC
and even those were pretty loose.

Insert Calvary Baptist Church here.  In the spring of 2008 discussion started
about having Emo Youth come under the umbrella of CBC.  Since most of the teens came from this church
it seemed silly to be under a different church and as I was really in need of
some assistance and accountability we made an agreement.  Starting in the fall of 2008 Emo Youth
officially became part of CBC and Peter and Stacey Fuhrer came on as
leaders.  At the same time work started
to develop a youth group in Fort Frances to focus on the needs there.  That group is now known as FYG or F.Y.G.  Today our team of Emo Youth leaders includes
myself, Pete & Stacey and two teen leaders, Bob and Dirk.

I cannot tell you how big of a blessing it has been to have
CBC embrace Emo Youth as a ministry.  As
a leader it has been huge!  To go from
leading a group of up to 25 teens all by myself to working with a team, knowing
we’re part of a bigger whole, that there is a supportive (in finances and
prayer) church family behind us is awesome!   

So,
it is with mixed feelings I make this announcement.  After months of thought and prayer and after
discussing it with friends and leaders I am ready to announce my resignation as
leader of Emo Youth starting this summer. 
Nothing bad has happened and I’m not moving!  The youth group is as healthy as it has ever
been and I have really enjoyed working with Pete and Stacey.  I am letting go of my responsibilities in
this group only because I feel that God is calling me to focus more on other
ministries I am involved in as well, specifically outreach and discipleship
with teens in Fort Frances.

Please pray that God would raise up new leaders to help Pete & Stacey with the group! 

Discipling

This Sunday I shared about
why I disciple, how I disciple and the joy of discipling during the
sermon.  Because of that I’ve been thinking a lot about discipleship relationships I’ve had both as the discipler and the the disciple. 

I’ve been blessed more than most.  From grade 8 through 10 my youth leader lived in the same house.  She was also my teacher from grade 9 through 12.  As a result we spent HOURS together: making memories, talking, and praying.  There was no specific structure to our relationship just a commitment to me on her part and a knowledge that I could go talk to her at any time on my part.  That was formative during those icky years of ‘Who am I?’ and ‘Why does life suck?’ during grade 8 and 9.  She both listened and was there as well as challenged my thinking and actions. 

A few years later I had a totally different relationship which proved to be no less pivotal.  For two years I met a pastor every other week.  Each week he would hand me a book or assign some 100 pages from a textbook, tell me to read it and we would discuss it at our next meeting.  It was Theology 101.  Those sessions shaped how I think about God, the gospel, the church and the world. 

Now I’m in another relationship which is sort of a combination of the two.  We meet every other week for coffee.  She asks me questions about what is going on in my life and ministry and lets me in on what life is like for her as a mom and leading a childrens ministry in the church.  We’re reading through a book about prayer, so between our coffee times we read a chapter and then discuss it when we get together.  We end our times with praying for each other.

That doesn’t include those less intentional discipleship relationships.  For example, I grew as a leader and musician by being under Mark and Tina Mast at camp.  They ‘took a risk’ and let me counsel a cabin with another girl my age when I was 16.  As the years passed I was given (or allowed) more and more responsibility.  This summer I’ll not only be program director but possibly a speaker as well.  That’s not to mention being in charge of music for several years and then passing that on to the next ‘disciple’.

On the flip side, God has allowed me to be influential in several peoples lives through intentional relationships.  Sometimes in a more general way through youth group, or being camp staff together or being part of GIFT.  Sometimes in more defined ways where it might be one or several conversation or one ‘coffee date’.  With some I’ve had ongoing scheduled conversations, attempting to hold them accountable, listening to what is going on in their world, giving advice and praying for them.  In at least one case it has been being committed to a relationship over a period of about 8 years, which has looked different in the various seasons those 8 years encompass. 

Being in relationship is often difficult and messy.  These relationships are no exception.  There are times where they are just straight up frustrating or at the least disappointing.  And yet, it is these relationships that bring so much joy!  For one, they point me back to Jesus.  It is because of His sovereign plan that these people are/were in my life.  These relationships reveal my weakness and sin and point me back to the cross for strength and forgiveness. 

These relationships are also a joy because over time I can see changes that were imperceptible in the moment.  Change is rarely instantaneous but when journeying together for a longer period of time change can be seen. 

Indeed, I have been blessed to be discipled.  I have been blessed to disciple.    

Back

I’m back! 

Still getting back into routine but being away must have done some good!  I’m definitely more relaxed than I was six weeks ago even though I’ve had a full week.  Christina (my roommate) thinks that my time away has been good because she figures I’ve come back more like her!  (however that happened?)  I’m definitely still in process of becoming the woman God wants me to be!

It’s been WONDERFUL being able to converse with close friends again.  I’ve talked both Christina and Chrissy’s ears right off I think!  It’s been a full week of straight out ‘verbal diarrhea’.  After spending my time alone or with acquaintances I appreciate it so much more.

On a ministry front I have a few meetings coming up that should be interesting: FYG planning meeting tonight, a youth planning meeting on Sunday night and a GAB (GIFT Advisory Board) meeting sometime later this month.  Always wondering how can we do what we do better?  How can we be more effective in reaching and encouraging others?  Jumping into camp prep already as well.

Exciting times!