Clarity

Another song born from a jamming session:

There is more
than I know, more than I’ve seen

More to explore
in this History

I go deeper with
You, in the mystery

There is still
more that I just don’t see

Why can’t I see
all that You have for me?

My eyes so dim,
need of surgery

Take my eyes off
me and set them on Your grace

Give me Your
heart, give me Your desires

Make me more
like You

The power of
prayer, the saving of souls

Living beyond
the here and now

Captured by You
things are so new

Black becomes
white, gray becomes clear

I lift my eyes,
light comes streaming through

Then I start to
see as You do

Watching and
waiting

Trusting Your
goodness

Your power runs
through me

To be what
You’re making me

-DJ Friesen with Stephanie Gooman, Josh Pawluk & John Ans

Better Than I Deserve

Each week at GIFT practice we talk about becoming more cross-centered at GIFT and in our lives.  We don’t just talk.  Each of us comes up with a plan, a step, something we can do during the week to help us become more cross/Christ-centered.  Last week I applied something right from the book we’re reading: anytime someone would ask, "How are you doing?" I would respond with, "Better than I deserve."

I knew it would be a stretch.  I didn’t realize it would be downright hard!  I found myself hoping people wouldn’t ask me how I was doing!  I don’t know if it was the fact that when most people ask the question they aren’t actually asking how you’re doing, they are just following a social norm, and to respond so radically different would be socially awkward or if it was knowing that I might have to go into a more elaborate explanation which might lead into a spiritual discussion.

I think there was a bit of the later but mostly the former. 

It was a good exercise though.  For myself it reminded me that I really am doing better than I deserve.  I wanted to complain about being sick and tired (and sadly, I think I’ve gone back to that now that my week’s assignment is up) but instead I was declaring that any state I was in was better than what I deserved. 

It was also good for my conversations with others.  Remembering that I’m doing better than I deserve, or at the least acknowledging it to be fact, set the stage for being positive and cheerful with whomever I was interacting with. 

At the very least it was a test of obedience at the price of being socially awkward.  I didn’t pass with 100% but I’ll be able to look back on this when another test of obedience comes.  I think at the end of the day, the potential social awkwardness is worth the rewards of obedience.

A Month Away

It’s hard to believe but I’ve been in the Rainy River District doing ministry for five and a half years.  Over those years I’ve seen a few waves of teenagers ‘grow up’ and move all over the country for schooling and jobs.  The programing here has changed in strategies, content and dynamics.  Ministries that existed when I first arrived have continued on while new ministries have been birthed. 

It’s been a good few years.  Full of ups and downs.  Excitements and discouragements.  I’m looking forward to the next five.

So that I make it for the next five (Lord willing), I have gotten the go ahead to take the month of February ‘off’ for some personal refreshment and ministry development.  I am making plans to spend that month in Thunder Bay, Ontario.  Right now I’m in the process of finding a place to live for the month.

I’m looking forward to connecting and reconnecting with fellow brothers and sisters there; to share my story and hear theirs, to talk about God, to worship with them.  A friend from Bible school lives near Thunder Bay and I’m especially looking forward to reconnecting with her.

Thunder Bay maybe isn’t very far away but that is one of it’s drawing points.  As far as I know the dynamics and atmosphere is similar in Thunder Bay to Fort Frances.  That would mean that their youth ministries would be more compatible with ours than youth ministries in, say, Calgary or Waterloo or St. John’s.  So, while I’m there I’m planning on visiting and observing how ministry is ‘done’ in T-bay, taking mental notes and getting inspired for the work that is going on here in the Rainy River District.

My prayer is that at the end of my month away I will be refreshed and excited about what God is doing here and ready to jump back in with both feet.  Of course, your prayers would be awesome!  

Closer to You

In the last couple months my creative juices have been stirred a bit again.  A few friends have been getting together and working on music, creating, recording, stretching.  It’s been really good.  Here is one of the products of one of our sessions:

Father, I’ve fallen so far again
Desperate for mercy I need You.
Finding Your face, knowing You’ve bought me
King of my heart, You hear me

Send what You must to bring me closer to You
What You must to break through
Take what I do and make it holy
As only You can do

A man, as feeble as I am,
I have not the strength inside of me
You take me in, fill me with Your strength
I’ll take all that I can, make me more like You

Whatever it takes, Lord I’m willing
No turning back, You’re right here with me
And if it hurts and if it means waiting
I choose You…

– John Ans & DJ Friesen